"Hey, man ... We creatures of the case We want weird and unexplainable love. There are guys who would destroy us without getting a nail, and others who bring us home with a bouquet of flowers. You've no return, and you know why? Because when you see me spit blood I've got your hand so you cried. So listen, friend: I had a dog once. When you cough looked at me, lowered her ears and became sad. It 'the only creature that has ever loved. I have loved you just like that dog. If you men only knew what you can get in exchange for a tear! So, my friend, now seeks to use the intelligence of your heart with me, for those like me are used to having people around who scrutinizes their every sentence that interprets their desires. And these are not friends, no, I'm just selfish lovers who squander their money not for us, as they believe, but for their vanity. And we are in a good mood when they are in a good mood, and we need to be healthy when they feel like going dancing ... We are professionals, their articles of luxury, top of their pride, but in their latest estimate. We can not afford neither friendship nor love sincere, we can not because we know how it ends - at least I know, I know very well how it ends ... I have known them all already, known them all: Have known the evenings, mornings afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons, as well as I could risk? And if you wanted to, I, for once, take a chance? May I, for once, to expect a man who does not ask me to account for my life, that is a lover of my feelings more than my body? I met you: young, radiant ... And now I'm trying to figure out if you are able to emancipate themselves from the noisy solitude that surrounds me. Then, man, look, look! We want to try? Because if we're to me is fine. But if you have the usual vulgar lover, then do 'like everyone else pay me, and do not talk about it anymore. " - Lella Costa - La traviata
chasing sleepless nights and days too long I have cherished the my time and my silence and I measured out my life with coffee spoons. and between a lighter and a bag, I discovered that I arrived at the border as far away from my heart. I got to see far and near immensely. to hurt me, until you see the reality that often, unwittingly, I hide. fear, or just out of boredom. confusing the perception I have of myself with the perception that I refer others. and I have mixed than they are with what they want, the others, I was.
the attention of others that fit our existence. I do not know and expect. and when I try to become selfish. and I can not defend myself. I have huge walls around, builders always at my service. then walls are cardboard and are a breath down. and preclude me, stubbornly and obstinately, to trust. I trust without consideration because I think everyone should do, always, the best they can. based on the awareness and fear that, at that moment inside. and there are fears that limit, paralyze and encase. and fears that go a step further, where someone is waiting.
I learned, step by step, to love me. and love me to love without restraint, all my fault and all my little stiffness. I learned to love my way, devastating, collapse and then rebuild them stronger and more helpless, each time more. I learned that I deserve the good things of us can be, and I learned to recognize things for worth getting lost. and also those whose worthwhile find.
and then, perhaps, I did not understand anything. but nothing that I treasure and take it inside. and defend. because anything that my thoughts are insignificant and small things. have a smile and a beating heart, for once, peaceful. and that place, for that calm the heart, you can also search for a lifetime. and maybe even two.
the intelligence of the heart when everything hurts until the tears come down out of control. when I can not find a way to learn how to get one hell of a lineup, to touch, and finally ground to leave this ship. not to blow it up, sitting on dynamite.
the intelligence of the heart to stop prostituting my heart. stop for lovers of the usual trust and allow vulgar, and allow me, someone who takes the trouble of getting tired. and begin to trust me.
and chase the nights and mornings. tired and the days and nights immersed in the silence that there is more sincere. and in that silence we hear all the noise I can. accepting the empty and waiting, again, to fill it.
and learned to gamble and, perhaps, to take themselves less seriously. leaving behind the fear of losing. for, amid the folds of this silence.
and stay in front of this door closed in spite of the evil which he could fill the void. I stay because I have learned to trust my skin. remain, without compensation, until the exact feel that having to stay, not a moment more, and not one less. because I got to the most hidden of my heart. and I know I have done my best with my consistency and my sincerity. I stay. without a reason that can be explained without a reason to convince anyone. I do not have to convince anyone of my heart intelligence, would also be the biggest mistake, the mistake more painful. should also, I'll stay. in my place. instead I chose, without even noticing that you have chosen. with the instinct, the irrationality and the heart. because that place is worthwhile to lose. and lost.
and if I wanted to, I, for once, take a chance?